shelby+beasley+essay+2

Shelby Beasley Writing 1310 25 October 2011 Empathy in my life

All of the senses Daniel Pink describes in __A Whole New Mind__ will in some way affect me, as well as others. The sense I believe that most affects to me now or will affect to me in the future is empathy, because I want to become a registered nurse (RN). My definition of empathy is using your imagination to put yourself in someone else’s position, or knowing what it is like to be in the position they are in. you need to be sensitive to the situation and the people, and care about what’s going on. I think this sense is more relevant to me than the other senses because I want to become a nurse. I feel that to be a good and caring nurse requires a great deal of empathy, as it should. Daniel Pink even states in his book that nursing does in fact require a great deal of empathy. Not only in the work force, but to me in real life you need to be empathetic in order to be a sincere and kind person.  There was a very powerful statement in __A Whole New Mind__ that said stories are the doorways to empathy. I completely agree with this. I can look at someone and imagine what they have been through and feel empathy for them. However, if this person were to come up to me and tell me their life story I bet I would feel ten times more empathetic than if I were just imagining to myself what they have been through. The understanding of a person going through a traumatic event is actually hearing their story, seeing the look on their face while they tell the story, and being touched by what they say. My empathy will be much stronger for a person if I actually realize and know for a fact what they have been through instead of assuming or guessing.  One example of empathy that I just assume or guess at is seeing people on campus with walking disabilities. It’s not that I don’t feel empathy for them; it’s just that I don’t know how they actually feel about their disability. I only know how I would handle it if it were me. Every day as I walk around campus going to class I will see someone who has a walking disability. I have never experienced having a walking disability; therefore it may be somewhat hard for me to feel empathetic for that person. However, I look at them and think of all the activities and sports they were never able to do or play growing up versus all the sports and activities I got to do while I was growing up. I can’t help but feel bad for them. I believe in order to feel empathy you have to put yourself in the other person’s situation and see how you would be able to handle what is going on. I think the reason I feel so bad or empathetic for the people with walking disabilities is because growing up sports was basically my life. I can’t imagine someone with my love of sports not being able to walk well enough to ever get a chance to play. Everywhere I go people are always telling me stories, trying to make me feel a certain way. One story that really sticks out to me happened my senior year in high school. We had a man come to our school and give us a speech about never giving up and staying on the right track. Now, I can’t remember the man’s name, but he told us such a powerful story, that I don’t think I will ever be able to forget what he said. He didn’t come in telling us a bunch of statistics about drugs, alcohol, abuse, or people that are homeless. He just told us his life story. He said how his mom was a drug addict who also liked to drink a lot. His mom didn’t ever physically or sexually harm him, but one time his cousin, who he looked up to, sexually abused him. He told us that his cousin came into his room at night and molested him. The look on his face at this point in the story was the saddest thing I may have ever witnessed. When his mom found out about the molestation she was furious, but the cousin had left town so there was nothing she could do. The situation however, didn’t get much better. His mom spent all of her little money on drugs and alcohol so there was no money for food, and eventually no money for rent. They were kicked out of their apartment and had to find a last minute place to stay. Today this man is very successful and tries to stay out of the memories from his past, but I could tell by the look on his face, that no matter how successful or happy he was, he would never forget what he endured in adolescence. Once again, I have never been put in this man’s position, but I did feel empathetic for him. The empathy I felt for him was much stronger than the empathy I feel for the people with walking disabilities, because I had heard the man’s life story and seen the expression on his face while he told it. In my spare time I like to watch Law and Order SVU, which is a fictional television show. I feel empathy for the victims who get hurt on the show just like I do for real people. Although, it is always in the back of my mind that they aren’t real, it’s just a fictional character. This man was the first real live person that I have met that has gone through this kind of trauma. I can honestly say that the empathy I felt for this man, that was standing right in front of me, versus the actors on television, was probably at least 75 percent greater for the man who told me his life story in person. It is a totally different experience seeing something on TV, or even on the news, than it is to have the person sitting right in front of you telling you what has happened to them.  Another way I see myself being empathetic is with my friends and their relationships. What I mean by this is that I have been in a relationship longer than all of my friends have. So when my friend Selenia has a fight with her boyfriend she likes to talk to me about it because I completely understand what she is going through. Selenia knows that if she has a problem I am one of the few people that won’t judge her for the way she feels, because chances are I have felt that exact same way at one point in my relationship. To be more specific, the other day Selenia and her boyfriend were in a fight and she started to cry. I immediately felt really sad and hurt as if I were re-living my experiences like that. It was something dumb that they shouldn’t have been arguing about, yet it really upset her. I understood why she was upset because I too have been in the situation where we shouldn’t have even been fighting but my feelings got hurt tremendously. This to me is one of the easiest ways to feel empathy for someone. Having actually gone through what they are currently going through instead of just having to imagine how they feel.  One extremely uncommonly thought of form of empathy, yet it is not a very personal form of empathy is me trying to write this paper. As I write I am not just spitting out words to suit myself. I am trying to put myself into the mind and the thoughts of my reader. Just like being empathetic in the workplace will someday make me a better nurse, and being empathetic in everyday life is making me a better person; being empathetic while writing can and will make me a better writer. This isn’t the kind of empathy I generally picture when I hear the word empathy, but it is putting myself in someone else’s position, therefore it is to me considered to be empathy.  Those are the ways empathy affects me at this current moment. I think they will continue to affect me in these ways, but there is one more instance that I think I will have to feel empathy in my future. This occurrence will be at work. I want to become a registered nurse, so I need to be really empathetic. I don’t need to try to help a patient without hearing their symptoms first as well as what all is going on with them. I need to have some kind of idea on how they feel before I can really understand what is wrong. It would be wrong of me to assume that they are faking it and that there isn’t anything wrong at all. I need to put myself in their shoes and see how I would feel. Daniel Pink says in __A Whole New Mind__ that nurses often complain of being over worked and having to juggle too many patients, but their empathetic nature keeps them in high esteem. Daniel also states “Nursing consistently rates as the most honest and ethical profession in the United States.” I would be honored to be a part of the great profession.  Empathy is a big part of everyone’s life whether they see it or not. I realize that empathy is a major component in my life and that it helps me be a better person. Anyone who has any feelings at all could feel empathy at some point in their life for someone. I strongly believe empathy is one characteristic that everyone should have and show regularly.